


Life on the Edge

by lizardwriter



Series: Conversations with Death [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, Gen, Hollstein-ish, Humor, thoughts of death tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5083006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardwriter/pseuds/lizardwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between season 1 episodes 35 and 36 - Carmilla has a a few conversations with Death (black robe, scythe and all), who finds her a bit of a curiosity, as she clings to the wall of the pit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life on the Edge

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty light-hearted, but it does involve contemplations of death, so just a warning. 
> 
> If you haven't read Terry Pratchett's writing, you should. Death in this is modeled after his version from the Discworld novels. (It would be one in the same, but Carmilla is on the roundworld.) That being said, if you haven't read Terry Pratchett, you don't need to have to read this.

Carmilla wasn’t sure why she wasn’t dead. She was supposed to be dead, she was pretty sure. She’d been prepared to die. She’d accepted her fate. She would save Laura and she would die like she was meant to have died so many years ago.

She’d used the sword. That was supposed to consume her, right?

Nonetheless, there she was, clinging to the cliff face. It wasn’t comfortable. Rocks were digging into the bare skin on her arms and one jutted out into her hip, and her muscles burned, but she was alive, so she held on.

Then again, maybe she wasn’t alive for very much longer.

A dark, hooded figure appeared beside her. He had glowing blue orbs where his eyes should have been and the hand that came to rest on his knee as he seemed to perch easily on a small shoot out of rock next to her could only be described as skeletal.

She recognized him instantly. She’d met him before.

HELLO.

The voice wasn’t so much heard by her ears as it just appeared in her head.

“No,” Carmilla replied. “I refuse.”

 Death tilted his head to the side, and Carmilla was sure that if he’d had brows, they would’ve been furrowed.

“Aren’t you here to take me?”

THAT REMAINS TO BE SEEN. YOU HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING ONE TO WATCH.

Death shifted slightly and Carmilla hoped that he wasn’t actually as comfortable as he seemed. Then again, it was hardly like he had muscles for the rocks to dig into. “Don’t suppose you’d consider helping a girl out?” she suggested hopefully.

AH, WELL, I AM NOT TO INTERFERE. I AM MERELY AN OBSERVER.

Carmilla sighed. She hadn’t actually expected a different answer, but she’d had to ask anyway. She looked up. There was a potential handhold just above her that was taunting her. If she could just reach it…

She attempted to grab for it, but her hand missed and she swung precariously from one hand for a moment before she was able to secure her hand back beside the other one. Death watched her with interest.

He removed a timer from the folds of his robes and frowned at it, then stored it again.

I MUST BE OFF.

“I’ll be seeing you,” Carmilla muttered morbidly.

EVERYONE DOES, EVENTUALLY.

\--

Carmilla had no idea how much time had passed. There was no concept of time here. There was only hanging on for dear life, and somehow she still was. Every time she considered just letting go she saw Laura’s face floating in the air before her, and she couldn’t do it.

A throat cleared beside her, and when she looked over in surprise, she realized that it was less of a throat clear and more just a polite sound to announce his presence.

YOU’RE STILL HERE.

“So it would seem,” she glared.

HOW DOES YOUR GRIP FEEL?

Carmilla glared harder. The question was really rather callous, she felt.

IT IS JUST THAT YOUR TIMER IS NOT EXACTLY COOPERATING. IT IS…IN FLUX. DO YOUR FINGERS FEEL LIKE THEY’RE SLIPPING A LITTLE?

“No,” Carmilla replied stubbornly.

AH, WELL, OKAY, THEN.

“Still not gonna offer me a hand?”

WOULD YOU TAKE DEATH’S HAND?

“I took Death’s hand a long time ago.”

YET HERE YOU ARE.

There was a flash of light and a loud BOOM echoed around the pit.

“Don’t suppose you could do something about the idiots throwing cherry bombs down here?” Carmilla suggested.

ONE IS DUE TO MEET ME SOON, IF THAT HELPS.

“A bit, actually,” Carmilla admitted, though she wasn’t sure that Death’s idea of soon and hers were exactly the same.

Death stood, his scythe flashing in the darkness. I MUST BE GOING. DO LET ME KNOW IF YOU DECIDE TO GIVE UP.

“You’ll be the first to know.”

OF COURSE I WILL.

Death faded and Carmilla was left alone in the darkness once more. She heard what she briefly thought might have been a deep breath, but nothing could breathe that deeply. It would have had to be massive. Besides, she was the only thing down there, and she didn’t need to breathe.  There was another flash and a BOOM.

“Funny thing is,” Carmilla mused aloud to herself, “I thought I had given up a long time ago, and then I met Laura.”

\--

Consciousness was eluding her. She was slipping in and out and the darkness had a definite haziness to it that had not been there before. The lack of blood was really taking its toll on her and her muscles had long ago given up burning and had now settled into a dull ache that she knew signaled the beginning of the end. If she properly lost consciousness, she would fall, she was sure.

In her peripheral vision she caught a glimmer of movement. She glanced to the side, having trouble keeping her eyes open.

“Oh. It’s you again,” she grumbled when she saw him. Of course it was. She didn’t know who else she’d been expecting, but of course it was almost time.

“Come to take me this time?”

PERHAPS. IT IS STILL TOO SOON TO TELL.

Well, that was something. Still…

“I’ll be unconscious shortly. Don’t think I’ll be able to hold on then.”

WE SHALL SEE.

“Can you give a message to someone for me?”

THAT IS INADVISABLE.

“Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, I don’t really want her on your radar.”

EVERYONE IS ON MY RADAR.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. She rested her head against the rock, no longer noticing the hardness beneath her skin. Her lids were so heavy. They would close for good soon. She could feel it coming.

IS SHE A LOVE, PERHAPS?

Carmilla’s eyes snapped open. She had forgotten she wasn’t alone. Not that the company was especially good. “I’m not talking about love with Death.”

There was another pause, and Carmilla decided what was the difference really, if she was about to die. At least she’d die talking about Laura. “She’s infuriating, really. Stubborn and headstrong and always charging into things without thinking them through.”

I SEE, said Death, not sounding at all like he did.

“She thinks I can be a hero. I’m not heroic. I’m a vampire. And I’m probably about to die.”

BUT SHE IS NOT DEAD.

It wasn’t a question, but Carmilla answered anyway. “No.”

BECAUSE OF YOU.

Another non-question. “Possibly.”

PERHAPS YOU ARE MORE OF A HERO THAN YOU THINK.

Carmilla rolled her eyes again and adjusted her grip on the rock for what she was sure would be the last time. “You sound like her.”

Death didn’t respond. Instead, he produced a timer from the folds of his robe and studied it. If he’d had the muscles to do so, Carmilla felt that he would have been smiling. AH, YOUR TIMER APPEARS TO BE FLOWING AGAIN.

“So I’m about to die?” Carmilla concluded.

NO. IT APPEARS THAT MY ATTENIONS ARE NEEDED ELSEWHERE. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MISS KARNSTEIN.

“Don’t hurry back,” Carmilla muttered as he faded. So she apparently wasn’t about to die. She found that hard to believe as she closed her eyes against another flash and braced herself for the boom she knew was coming. Couldn’t those stupid frat boys give it a rest?

She heard angry voices from above her and she thought that perhaps one of them sounded vaguely familiar, but she found that she no longer had the energy to open her eyes to look. Perhaps Death had been wrong, Carmilla mused as consciousness began to escape her.

Laura was going to be so mad at her.


End file.
